The aubergine libertine in his green limousine

A libertine’s green limousine was lately seen in Saint Vereen. The libertine wore aubergine. In Saint Vereen they’re not so keen on aubergine. The party scene in Saint Vereen is all crepe-de-chine and gabardine, beauty queens and Charlie Sheen. The libertine in aubergine moves between these beauty queens: his feet careen from scene to scene, taking in the magazines, the tall Marines, the jumping beans, the snarling face of Charlie Sheen. The libertine leaves Saint Vereen. Saint Vereen is not his scene–he likes a scene that’s more serene. Vals-en-Deen is just that scene. He sights the sheen of Vals-en-Deen. Its woods are green; are tourmaline. With carabine, he’ll hunt that green, the libertine in aubergine. The birds that preen in Vals-en-Deen are not quite serene when there’s been seen in their woodsy green the libertine in aubergine. His carabine for them spells "fin." But when libertines in limousines leave Vals-en-Deen for Saint Vereen, those birds that preen are quite serene. Though the birds may vent their spleen, the libertine in aubergine suffers only improved mien when Vals-en-Deen is dimly seen from the dark windscreen of his limousine. Then, our heroic libertine, rid at last of Charlie Sheen, of magazines, of beauty queens, of crepe-de-chine and gabardine, bounces like a jumping bean, a jumping bean on too much caffeine, decked out in cloth of aubergine.

About two years ago there was a meme going around in blogs, the aubergine meme. The goal was to end a poem with the word “aubergine”, a task as difficult as rhyming the word “orange” (try it). So I found this delightful poem in this awesome blog and I think, you’ll agree it’s the best aubergine poem ever. Three cheers to Reen for creating it. Another aubergine poem (okay, not really) is the recipe that follows. It’s the easiest thing to do with aubergines, far easier than writing a poem, not as elegant though. Feta cheese is never elegant, damn it.

Aubergine rolls

For 8 rolls

• 2 aubergines, cut into 4 slices lengthways
• 4 tbsp olive oil
• 100g feta
• 2 tbsps fresh chives, chopped
• 2 tbsps fresh flat leaf parsley, chopped
• 2 tbsps pine nuts
• 1 big garlic clove, peeled, crushed

1. Preheat oven to 250C 2. Heat olive in a big frying pan. 3. Brush the slices of aubergine with the oil before placing the slices in the pan. Turn the slices of aubergine, to cook both sides. 4. Remove the pan from the heat, let aubergines cool a little. 5. Put feta, parsley, chives, pine nuts and garlic in a small bowl and stir. 6. Take a slice of aubergine and place a tablespoon of the feta mixture in the centre of the slice. 7. Carefully roll the aubergine upwards. Place the aubergine roll on a baking tray before repeating the process with the 3 other aubergine slices. If it doesn’t remain sealed, secure it with a toothpick. 8. Place aubergine rolls in the oven for 5 minutes. Serve hot or cold. If you want you can make some simple tomato sauce and serve a spoonful on the side.

This recipe happened only because I had a spare pastry sheet in the fridge. But it was a success so it might become a classic. Where classic means, the food I prepare when I feel insecure and doubt my abilities and want to make something secure.

It takes no time at all, although the pious are going to want to make their own pastry, which I am all for, but we’ll discuss it some other time.

For 6-8 people as a starter

• 2 eggs

• 160 gr crumbled feta cheese

• 400 gr sliced button mushrooms

• 2-3 tablespoons olive oil

• 1 sheet puff pastry (if you like puffy things) or 1 sheet shortcrust pastry (if you want less air, more food)

• 3 spring onions, chopped

• Some butter for the baking dish

• Salt and pepper

Whisk the eggs and add the feta. Heat olive oil in a skillet and sautee onions. Add mushrooms and when they are cooked but still al dente, combine in a bowl with the eggs and feta. Sprinkle with pepper. If your feta is very salty don’t add any more salt. Butter a 12 cup muffin pan (if you have a larger one, you’ll need more pastry and more of everything else) and roll out the pastry. We don’t want the pastry to have holes, so carefully, we press it inside the cups. When we are done, we separate the pastry with a knife, so that each cup is individually lined. Fill with the mushroom mixture and arrange the extra pastry around, so that it encloses but doesn’t cover the filling. Don’t be too religious about it (as the photo testifies, I wasn’t). Bake in preheated oven at 180 C/ 350 F/ Gas mark 4 until the pastry looks golden and the filling has set.

The fact that my sister is on diet all the time, won’t stop her from making cheese sauce and adding it to the pie which she later gives to unsuspecting relatives. But because the pie is so delicious, I allow myself one piece for breakfast, from time to time. Then I watch buttons break loose.

We’ll need

For the pastry

• 5 cups all purpose flour

• ½ cup water

• ½ cup olive oil

• A bit of salt

For the filling

• 300 gr. Feta cheese, crumbled

• 200 gr. Gruyere cheese, grated

• 2 eggs

• Pepper

• Dill

• 2 cups cheese sauce

For the cheese sauce

• 2 tbsps quality butter

• 2 heaped tbsps flour

• ½ lt milk

• 2 eggs

• 200 gr. grated gruyere cheese

To coat the pie

• Some milk
• a beaten egg

Mix all pastry ingredients and knead well. Make two balls. Leave it for half in hour to rest, in a bowl covered with a clean piece of cloth. Meanwhile prepare cheese sauce (see below). Mix all the filling ingredients in a bowl (don’t forget the cheese sauce!). Roll the pastry in two sheets. Roll one pastry sheet in a well oiled baking tin. Pour the filling on pastry. Cover with the other pastry sheet. In a small bowl beat some milk and an egg together. Coat the pie with this and bake in a preheated oven until golden at 180 C/350 F/Gas Mark 4. This usually takes 50-60 minutes.

Cheese sauce Melt butter in a pan. Add flour, stirring all the time with wooden spoon. Pour the milk (must be lukewarm) and cheese and keep stirring constantly over low heat, until thickened and smooth. The sauce is ready. Before you add it to the pie, sprinkle with grated cheese to make it crunchier.