A bloody mary to salute Svetlana

I got this email from my new best friend. I don’t know her yet, but we’ll be like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, THAT close. "Lets start new relations! I am svetlana. I am from Saint-Petersburg, Russia. I am young cheerful creative lady who wants to make happy not only myself but all people who are around me - my friends and my family. Will you join my circle? I will be waiting for you reply to: svetlana@bestladies4u.com" And do you see her domain name? "Best ladies for you". For me! Are you green with envy? She wants to make me happy she says, and she is creative. Which means, she will eventually find a way. If you are reading this Svetlana, warm lady in the chilly Russian vastness, Spasibo.

Here’s another spam I got today. I thought I’d share my good fortune with you: Dear reader, Can a dieing man trust you with a huge sum of money for his last wish? If yes reply me urgently on shadaksherif2@spray.se to get more details. Regards, Shadak Dear Shadak, I am sorry that you are gravely ill and dieing of terminal illiteracy. You couldn’t have found a better person to trust a huge sum of money with. I always knew there was somebody watching over me and that I wouldn’t always have to work hard to put the cereal box and the organic milk on my table. Regards, Chloe

 I had to post this. It arrived today in my hotmail account. Yes, it was originally written in caps. By the way, I was thinking, people who use your computer and leave the caps lock key on, are similar to the people who leave the toilet seat up. DEAR SIR/MADAM, WE HAVE 6 GUESTS INTERESTED IN BOOKING ROOMS IN YOUR PLACE FOR A TEN DAY HOLIDAY PERIOD. PLEASE, KINDLY PROVIDE ACCOMMODATION FOR THE 6 GUESTS FROM THE 10TH NOVEMBER 2006 TO THE 20TH NOVEMBER OF 2006.THEY WOULD NEED THREE DOUBLE ROOMS OR SIX SINGLE ROOMS* DEPENDING ON AVAILABILITY. FORWARD A COMPREHENSIVE BILL FOR THE PERIOD SO THAT A CREDIT CARD WILL BE ISSUED TO YOU FOR BILL SETTLEMENT. GET BACK WITH YOUR TOTAL BILL IN EUROS OR US DOLLARS FOR THE PERIOD. BEST REGARDS…..,** TERRY BROOKS. * Sure, six single rooms, no problem Terry. I can cook breakfast too. **I appreciate the use of ellipsis after "best regards" to show that the rest is silence. Or maybe it is an unfinished thought (best regards….suckers)

Two changes in this blog: I have 45 songs to fit in that CD so I am going to start burning tonight. Therefore what is done is done. Second, while I was sleeping, someone sent me 22 spam comments. Now you know I have issues with sleep being an overestimated bore and a waste of life. Still, I consider it a personal insult to be spammed while sleeping, because I sleep so few hours damnit. Spammer, can’t you wait until I am awake? Do you have to backstab me like that? So, friends, you are going to have to type that awful word verification thingy for a little while. Or until that spammer goes away (Spammer, “here are some links that I believe will be interested” is wrong. Try “interesting” instead). The reason I am doing this is because I am going away on Sunday and I do not want to return a week later to 120 “here are some links that I believe will be interested” kind of comments. This is where I am going to be. It’s an island, Kythera, and we’ve been told it is very beautiful. I’ll be glad to send you postcards, so if you want them email me please. Scroll a bit up, up, up, there, see? My email. P.S I uploaded a picture of my new born nephew. If you like tiny babies, here he is