Where Dark Lord Sauron shakes the ground
There was a big earthquake here in Greece a couple of days ago and it was felt in Italy and Malta too, or so Reuters said. It was 6.5 on the Richter scale and lasted for 10 seconds. That’s years in earthquake time. Nobody was hurt, because although that was a very strong earthquake, its epicenter was somewhere in middle earth so the Hobbits dealt with it, or something like that.
We were asleep and we jumped out of bed and as soon as the quake was over we went out on the street barefoot and in mismatched pyjamas.
To be more precise, my son and I went barefoot while M instinctively ran to save his laptop. After he had saved it he brought us socks and coats. This goes to prove my beliefs about the human male, which I am not going to dwell on right now, but has something to do with prioritizing.
It gets better. Read on.
Where somebody’s tears are wetting my new shirt
Today, I had to take a taxi to go to the nutritionist. It was going to be a very early appointment and as I have to wait for my son to leave for school, there was little time left to take the bus.
If you have been reading this page for more than a month, this is the point where you are beginning to suspect something is going to go wrong.
Yet, in spite of your guessing powers, you aren’t even close. Because you are basically good people, and good people’s minds turn to good things, maybe with a little spice, but essentially good.
The taxi driver would make Britney Spears look sensible and sober by comparison. Because I was running late, I asked KINDLY, if he could maybe not stop every 10 m. to fish for more clients (he had already stopped for two) and make it quicker since “I have an appointment with the doctor”.
Exactly, you need to validate your wish to be on time.
His answer was: “The horsewhip is in the trunk of the car, so I can’t go any faster.”
In other taxi driver posts, I would go on to describe the dirty car, the cigarettes, the loud radio with the people who curse other people’s football teams, the seatbelt that didn’t work and the subzero temperature. However, I won’t, because I want to jump to the point where the taxi driver cannot find the street, starts swearing at other drivers and possibly me, drives past a hospital and not looking ahead or keeping his hands on the wheel for that matter, turns back and keeps telling me louder and louder “I am going in there, in there, right NOW, I can’t take it anymore” meaning the hospital if I am not mistaken. And then he starts crying, stops the car and starts banging his head on the wheel, and yells “I’ve been driving for 20 years, I’ve never had a worse day in my life”.
Boohoo.
So I got off and walked the rest of the way, feeling like a hunted animal.
Next, I am going to tell you what happened at the nutritionist’s. That’s another unhappy ending altogether.
Where he is acting high and mighty in sweatpants
Once at the nutritionist’s –my sister’s nutritionist, whom she introduced to me- I felt better. My last check-up hadn’t come out so fantastic, so I was hoping (am hoping) to change those numbers.
I didn’t like the nutritionist. Not at all. He was very patronizing and in his sweatshirt and sweatpants. But maybe that outfit is a ploy to make the client feel that the nutritionist is practising what he is preaching, so okay, let’s not judge him (I thought).
After I had to listen to him insist that there is real coffee (black) and fake coffee (sugar), after some bullying I got for saying I don’t want to use aspartame (“nothing proves that it causes cancer” he said), after some insults (“do you know what a cup is?”), I was told that he cannot “co-operate” –his words- with me, because I am a vegetarian, and he doesn’t do vegetarians. He only “does” people for whom he doesn’t have to devise a whole new plan, but one that he can print out in 2 minutes. Do you have a problem with that?
Oh and the phone at home doesn’t work.
I went to collect my payment. The cheque wasn’t ready. Next week.
The printer is acting up too.
P.S I found another nutritionist who says he’s okay with me not eating any members of the animal kingdom (maybe he feels safer that way).
January 9th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Ok, I give up. I thought Portugal was crazy but Greece wins, Athens is the capital of coo-coo (I can’t spell this word) people!!
I can’t even find the words to comment on anything else, it has gone beyond insanity. Perhaps it was the earthquake that made people behave even crazier…
Yes, 10 seconds of shaking is a long time. Over here, particularly in the south, the risk is very high too but it’s been more or less quiet.
January 9th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Sounds like an all around crappy day, glad it got better. My SIL reports stuff fell off her shelves in Athens (no great loss), she has way too much crap anyway lol…ciao
January 9th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Perfect signs of a “HAPPY NEW YEAR”.
It will get better. Here at home, we are changing our eating habbits too for the better.
January 10th, 2008 at 2:43 am
Your cab drivers are so unhinged I think you should film your next wild ride. I feel certain you could do a better job than this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwn_HlR9HqU&feature=related
January 10th, 2008 at 3:10 am
I am a Greek taxi driver, only in a US Customs uniform. It’s not their fault. It’s the people who climb into the back seat. There aren’t enough Chloes to save us.
Hit me later, but I want you to high five M for me.
January 10th, 2008 at 8:15 am
There is so much I could comment on, but my inner Californian won’t let me past the earthquake…did you all run into the street during the earthquake? I’m worried about you now. Next time, stand in a doorway. Really, it’s much safer. Otherwise, I hope your next days are better than this one…this one sounds just wild and not super pleasant.
January 10th, 2008 at 8:57 am
devil mood
we are champions in craziness. still, this was too much even by our standards.
xxx
rositta
it was a bit scary, but we were all very lucky this time
Cisco
I’ll try!
let’s hope to keep that beyond February okay?
Missalister
oh i can beat that! he is overreacting, for 4 dollars, come on! that cab driver is not crazy, he is just a thief
Zona
i swear you are not a greek taxi driver.
also, I was thinking about you last night while playing GOLF (!!!) on my Wii.
You were right, golf is fantastic (even in my living room).
I am not high fiving anybody. Instead, i have cut his food portions.
Kim
don’t worry Kim! i said we went out AFTER the quake was over, not during the quake. Basically, we went out afterwards because it was such a strong quake and we were expecting the next one which thankfully didn’t come.
January 10th, 2008 at 11:12 am
Well, at least you do not have volcanoes and tsunami to worry about. Gosh, the Greek men sure seem unhinged according to your report. Do they smoke and drink a lot?
January 10th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
YES! What happened this week? Oh, one of those days…
Hmm. Well, coming from the San Francisco Bay, I get shivers hearing about earthquakes since they’re making very gloomy predictions about”the big one” and “anytime now” here. Eeek! …and do they need to come at night? that just makes something scary down right traumatizing.
Trying to think. I don’t know what’s worse; patronizing or the taxi driver’s behavior. Oh, right… not being able to trust the ground you walk on. That one’s worse!
January 10th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Oh I love your stories and glad all is well after the earthquake.
You make me laugh.
I love you
Jeanne
January 10th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
yes, annoying, but you could see it this way: the more crazy people you meet, the more sure you become that you’re indeed perfectly normal, functional and there’s nothing wrong with you.
yay to weirdos showing this ;-))
happy new year!
xxx
January 11th, 2008 at 5:13 am
HOW do you meet these people chloe??
I love this font- so peaceful.
Also, loved your pics. bunch of wacks
so what did the new nutritionist say? will you share your new menu plan with me, a vegetarian/carbaddict? i need some serious help.
January 11th, 2008 at 5:55 am
You should have gone home and pulled the covers over your head. So sorry you had such a terrible day. Friday and the weekend are going to be wonderful for you….I just know it.
Hang in there.
Hugs,
January 11th, 2008 at 7:40 am
Wow. wow wow wow wow.
I often think about what I would try to take with me if I had to evacuate my house. Maybe it would be best to keep all the valuable documents and information in a fireproof filing cabinet. Then again, it would be kind of liberating to lose all that stuff.
I can’t believe all the crazy taxi drivers you get. They’re extra crazy!
January 11th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
I would feel like a hunted animal with a cab driver like that… love it. Crazy people make the world go round, eh?
January 12th, 2008 at 5:19 am
What an arsehole of a ‘nutritionist’. Sorry.
I remember walking to the end of my street in about 5 seconds flat after the 1999 earthquake; in one shoe, keys in hand. I only stopped when people spilled onto the pavement in various states of shock.
Taxi drivers and earthquakes are what I miss least about Greece xx
January 12th, 2008 at 5:27 am
You have convinced me that I never want to set foot in a taxi in Athens, that’s for damn sure!
And although I am so sorry to hear that you had a bad day, you write in such a lovely comedic way that I couldn’t help but smile. I hope today was better, dear friend.
xo
Cathy
January 12th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
OOOOH - Wait, I figured something out. I think the sane Greek taxi drivers all escaped your country - because I totally forgot that my driver from the airport was from Greece, but lives here now
He was nice, and normal, and wore clean clothes and carried my bags for me.
Hope your day/week/year gets better and your veggie nutritionist works out okay!
January 13th, 2008 at 3:01 am
I mean no offense by this, I’m truly just curious, but why is that so many Greek men are so very fond of drama?? Or is it just Greek taxi drivers?
January 13th, 2008 at 7:43 am
it’s a good thing you don’t have a steering wheel to bang your head on after that day.
January 13th, 2008 at 9:51 am
May the cab driver and the nutritionist meet, and get stuck in the cab.
January 13th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
Also, maybe your taxi drivers are all rich already.
I actually wish the selection process was more like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HU0k72NL18
January 14th, 2008 at 5:50 am
I stopped by to see if you’d published anything new, re-read “The Tearrorist attack,” and realized Mr. Vonnegut would’ve been proud! All the comments confirm that. You entertained your readers well; in the earthquake story I rooted for M ( I would have retrieved my laptop first thing as well) and in the taxi and nutritionist scenarios I rooted for you; every character wanted something (M wanted his data in tact and his wallet spared the expense of a new laptop, you just wanted to get to the doctor’s office in tact, the taxi driver wanted anything but to be a taxi driver at that moment, and Sir Sweatpants wanted to rule Greece); your sentences revealed both character AND advanced the action (bonus points); you started as close to the end as possible; awful things happened to the leading lady; you’re a true writer so you ultimately write for you; and you provided one hilarious bit of information after the next!
January 15th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
I honestly don’t understand why people run outside during earthquakes. It’s the exact opposite of good earthquake safety, but I suppose people aren’t taught or don’t care to research things that could prevent injury or death. Anyone ever hear of “duck and cover?” That’s what you’re supposed to do.
I’ve never had a taxi driver cry when frustrated and lost. I usually get thrown out of the taxi and onto the street or dragged out of the car by force.
And God forbid that nutritionist have to work for a living! Maybe he’s wearing sweatpants because, oh I don’t know…lazy!?! No, that can’t be it.
Good you survived with your sense of humour in tact.