Where Dark Lord Sauron shakes the ground
There was a big earthquake here in Greece a couple of days ago and it was felt in Italy and Malta too, or so Reuters said. It was 6.5 on the Richter scale and lasted for 10 seconds. That’s years in earthquake time. Nobody was hurt, because although that was a very strong earthquake, its epicenter was somewhere in middle earth so the Hobbits dealt with it, or something like that.
We were asleep and we jumped out of bed and as soon as the quake was over we went out on the street barefoot and in mismatched pyjamas.
To be more precise, my son and I went barefoot while M instinctively ran to save his laptop. After he had saved it he brought us socks and coats. This goes to prove my beliefs about the human male, which I am not going to dwell on right now, but has something to do with prioritizing.
It gets better. Read on.
Where somebody’s tears are wetting my new shirt
Today, I had to take a taxi to go to the nutritionist. It was going to be a very early appointment and as I have to wait for my son to leave for school, there was little time left to take the bus.
If you have been reading this page for more than a month, this is the point where you are beginning to suspect something is going to go wrong.
Yet, in spite of your guessing powers, you aren’t even close. Because you are basically good people, and good people’s minds turn to good things, maybe with a little spice, but essentially good.
The taxi driver would make Britney Spears look sensible and sober by comparison. Because I was running late, I asked KINDLY, if he could maybe not stop every 10 m. to fish for more clients (he had already stopped for two) and make it quicker since “I have an appointment with the doctor”.
Exactly, you need to validate your wish to be on time.
His answer was: “The horsewhip is in the trunk of the car, so I can’t go any faster.”
In other taxi driver posts, I would go on to describe the dirty car, the cigarettes, the loud radio with the people who curse other people’s football teams, the seatbelt that didn’t work and the subzero temperature. However, I won’t, because I want to jump to the point where the taxi driver cannot find the street, starts swearing at other drivers and possibly me, drives past a hospital and not looking ahead or keeping his hands on the wheel for that matter, turns back and keeps telling me louder and louder “I am going in there, in there, right NOW, I can’t take it anymore” meaning the hospital if I am not mistaken. And then he starts crying, stops the car and starts banging his head on the wheel, and yells “I’ve been driving for 20 years, I’ve never had a worse day in my life”.
Boohoo.
So I got off and walked the rest of the way, feeling like a hunted animal.
Next, I am going to tell you what happened at the nutritionist’s. That’s another unhappy ending altogether.
Where he is acting high and mighty in sweatpants
Once at the nutritionist’s –my sister’s nutritionist, whom she introduced to me- I felt better. My last check-up hadn’t come out so fantastic, so I was hoping (am hoping) to change those numbers.
I didn’t like the nutritionist. Not at all. He was very patronizing and in his sweatshirt and sweatpants. But maybe that outfit is a ploy to make the client feel that the nutritionist is practising what he is preaching, so okay, let’s not judge him (I thought).
After I had to listen to him insist that there is real coffee (black) and fake coffee (sugar), after some bullying I got for saying I don’t want to use aspartame (“nothing proves that it causes cancer” he said), after some insults (“do you know what a cup is?”), I was told that he cannot “co-operate” –his words- with me, because I am a vegetarian, and he doesn’t do vegetarians. He only “does” people for whom he doesn’t have to devise a whole new plan, but one that he can print out in 2 minutes. Do you have a problem with that?
Oh and the phone at home doesn’t work.
I went to collect my payment. The cheque wasn’t ready. Next week.
The printer is acting up too.
P.S I found another nutritionist who says he’s okay with me not eating any members of the animal kingdom (maybe he feels safer that way).
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