Got to be more like trees
I was not intentionally gone. I was here looking at the screen every day for the past 10 days. I was searching for my thoughts and my words. I thought I had lost them all. A crystalline sadness had enclosed them, like those iced fruit we have for Christmas decorations. I became awful, awful to be around. Nobody else’s fault but mine. An unexpected critical error in my system that affects stability, an inherent vulnerability. I became physically sick, out of spite. I suffered from stomach cramps; I broke out in spots, had headaches that lasted for 24 hours and slept all day. And that was the easy part. I despise me for this. I have to fix it. I mean me. Look at how many "I"s I typed. That must be the problem.
Song of the era: "Majesty" by Madrugada
P.S Those of you who sent invitations to your blogs, please send them again. Blogger tells me I am not who I say I am and Blogger might be right, but I want those invitations dammit!
P.S Spring is good, everything is green and all that. And no spots anymore.
March 7th, 2007 at 6:44 pm
Me too. I think.
I’m glad you’re back around. You’ve been missed much.
March 7th, 2007 at 7:05 pm
i missed you too Stephanie. tonight i read a few blogs and it was like opening the door again. it was nice.
xx
March 7th, 2007 at 8:18 pm
Glad you have struggled through to the other side. I’ve missed your poetic and image-laden voice lately. I only wish I/we could have been of more help during this down time for you. Take care.
March 7th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
Oh! You’re back.
I’m sorry to hear you’ve been ‘broken’. But you have been missed.
I think we all need a break every now and then, knowing that everyone will still be there.
It’s good to see you again
x
March 7th, 2007 at 10:37 pm
i was just going to email you to find out where you’d gone. glad to see you’re back, even if you are broken or sick
March 8th, 2007 at 2:24 am
It’s good to have you back…you may not feel so fabulous, but you are strong like that beautiful tree.
March 8th, 2007 at 2:54 am
So where did the blues hit you?
Location can dictate mood…
March 8th, 2007 at 6:27 am
I missed you darling one.
I am glad you are back.
Welcome back.
Love Jeanne ^j^
March 8th, 2007 at 9:13 am
I was wondering if you had decided to stay in London or if you had just given up all together….Glad you are back and hope things get better. You have to take care of “I”
March 8th, 2007 at 9:29 am
When trees have no leaves during winter, or when some flowers bloom only at night and shy away from sunlight, these things aren’t broken, they’re just following a natural cycle. You may feel broken, I think we all do at times, but consider it a minor winter with spring always to follow. Glad your back Chloe.
March 8th, 2007 at 9:38 am
I have looked for you everyday!!
The silver lining (or pink in my case) to being blue - is everything
sparkles when you are able to
perk up…
it’s just your heart and mind doing a spring cleaning…
and homemade soup helps too.
hugs for you!
March 8th, 2007 at 9:43 am
oh man! blogger ate my comment!!!!
I am glad you are back! I missed you pics and wonderful, beautiful and funny writing.
“An unexpected critical error in my system that affects stability, an inherent vulnerability.”
I think we all have this and I love what Walter said. don’t despise yourself for it.
hugs to you!
xoxox
March 8th, 2007 at 11:35 am
Yayyy!:)
Spring just burst in my face this morning, it came and said: you will not be able to ignore me! And she was right.
I may start to sound repetitive but mercury was retrograde for the past two or three weeks and it made some words hard to come out.
The one thing that annoys me about english is the amount of times you have to say “I” - in portuguese you can talk of yourself constantly and ignore that completely, it’s nice for times like these.
We all need some kind of hibernation once in a while. I’m glad you’re back
March 8th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
happy woman ’s day
March 8th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
it’s gonna happen from time to time, we’re only human ya know. glad your back.
March 8th, 2007 at 3:58 pm
Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. Nobody can expect to be “on” all the time.
Can you send me some of your spring, please?
March 8th, 2007 at 7:22 pm
No sign of spring here yet, and I also have spots.
Blech…I am hoping that your positive turn of events is contagious…
(glad you are back:)
March 8th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
I’m going to picture you enveloped in positive happy light
March 9th, 2007 at 2:01 am
I had a strange feeling you would be back this morning and there you are! I hope everything goes well from now on
March 9th, 2007 at 6:27 am
Blogger just can’t see the big picture - it’s just like how people in Trafalgar Square can’t see England… And you’re larger than life
I’m thrilled you’re back, though! And not to worry about your bloglings, we’ll be waiting..
March 9th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Glad you’re back. Hope you had fun in London!
March 9th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
((Chloe))
March 9th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
I’m glad yo hear you’re feeling better. That’s a beautiful pic.
March 9th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
Welcome back ” home”
Hope u get yourself ” fixed” asap..Then come on over and ” fix me”.
Have a great weekened Chloe.
March 9th, 2007 at 10:45 pm
going there is not a good vacation spot… it’s good that you found your way back. Back to the ones who love you!
XXX
March 10th, 2007 at 3:49 am
Bad brain chemistry sucks.
I’ve been blog shy, I can’t write, so no one visits, so I can’t write more, so more people don’t visit, so I feel even worse. And then I wonder why I ever thought I could keep a blog.
I meant to say something supportive here, but I seem to be whingeing on about me. Again.
Hang on in there, show up at the screen and say something. That’d be my advice if I was the type of girl who gave advice.
Good to see you back, anyway
March 11th, 2007 at 1:53 am
I am so glad you came back to us. You were definitely missed. Hope you are feeling better.
Hugs,
Connie
March 11th, 2007 at 11:04 am
Walter took the words right out of my mout…Thank You Walter!
I’m glad you are back…in more ways than one!
You have, clearly, been missed!
March 12th, 2007 at 10:07 am
I know I don’t know you, but I hope you are able to take good care of yourself and find what you need to get back to feeling well again. Looks like you have many friends to lean on if you need to.
March 13th, 2007 at 12:21 am
Chloe, welcome back, you have been sadly missed. I was worried you weren’t coming back to us.
Glad you are climbing out the other side of the darkness you have been in. Hope you are doing well now.
Have a wonderful week.
Take care, hugs, Meow
March 13th, 2007 at 5:35 am
Are you still in London? x
March 13th, 2007 at 8:41 am
how are you this week , c? is the weather nice? sunny weather cannot hurt a thing, ya know… neither can chocolate.
love you.
March 13th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
-hug-
March 14th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
I’ve missed you so much Chloe, first a BIG HUG…
…my dear you have never been broken…
March 15th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
imoun stin idia katastasi apo ton Octomvrio. O gastrenterologos moy ekane tin sosti diagnosi…
‘Katathlipsi’
See you around soon
March 15th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
Ela bre kopelia, ftanei!
Einai krima na eisai makria, exeis toso polla na prosfereis.
Na’sai kala kai filakia.
xxx
March 15th, 2007 at 11:48 pm
boo to spots! im spotty at the moment too!!!
March 16th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
hope you are feeling better chloe. miss you. kisses, love, love love.
March 30th, 2007 at 2:25 am
With you as the subject and “awful” as the adjective I come across some cognitive dissonance.
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:00 am
maybe we all need to be rediscovered from time to time.
because maybe we forget who we are/were and can start over making ourselves into who we want to be.
these times are good for you.
April 3rd, 2007 at 7:09 pm
Hope you’re feeling better–nice to have you back.