It felt as if an evil god was whispering in my ear “In all the forests, the lakes, mountains, cities, there is not a single soul.” It was a sense of utter loneliness, a poisonous feeling I haven’t had in years.
It was triggered by an argument, a silly one, or a series of silly arguments, but in my head, that evil deity was saying “You are all alone and the words that come out of your mouth will echo in the void, forever and ever and ever.” You sink in that hole where it is warm and dark and you know that if you stay there one more day, you’ll never get out the same person. So you have to scream. Somehow, screaming makes other people visible again. Other people really do exist. Not literally, I didn’t really scream. I made a huge fuss, that’s what I mean.
I know many of you have just celebrated Thanksgiving. If I wanted to give thanks, I’d say, thanks for making yourselves seen.
Thanks
Sun, Nov 26, 2006
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November 26th, 2006 at 10:06 am
Apart from that, hi.
Hope all is well, or at least getting well again.
November 26th, 2006 at 10:55 am
I am so glad you are in this
world Chloe. You play every
key on the piano of life
(corny as it sounds)
no notes unexplored
a resonating life every echo of
the way.
and you are profoundly loved as
all great artists are.
November 26th, 2006 at 1:35 pm
I understand, dear friend.
I am so glad that you are feeling better and back out of the void.
xo
November 26th, 2006 at 1:43 pm
Glad you are feeling better Chloe. It’s nice to have you back writing again :).
November 26th, 2006 at 2:00 pm
Glad to see you have surfaced and exorcised this evil deity to the realm of lost souls! Almost like a plot from one of my stories!
November 26th, 2006 at 2:49 pm
I think it’s good to hide away every once in a while and allow the darkness to reign until it’s time to kick a hole in it and let the sun in again. Welcome back.
November 26th, 2006 at 3:34 pm
No problemo. ^_^
November 26th, 2006 at 3:34 pm
*jumps up and down, waving arms*
Can you see me now?
November 26th, 2006 at 4:48 pm
Yes, sometimes a big fuss is needed or we can get invisible to ourselves and other people. I don’t really know the sense of what I’m saying but … hmm thanks to you too!
November 26th, 2006 at 11:00 pm
Not only seen but felt, and emphathized.
November 27th, 2006 at 9:18 am
i know what you mean! glad you are doing better! guess what i am fixing to do? i am going to buy a candle at pier 1.
thanks for your great suggestion!
November 27th, 2006 at 9:50 am
You sound like you’ve been living the song (and I freely translate) “The brain is on its own” by my favourite Norw band. I’ll translate it for you later and you’ll se what I mean..
But you’re not alone! I’m glad you can see us again
November 27th, 2006 at 12:14 pm
thank god there was that voice telling to make a BIG noise and get out of the hole.
November 27th, 2006 at 3:23 pm
November 27th, 2006 at 3:46 pm
I think I’m real, but I may have no soul, the jury’s out on that one.
Glad to have your words. Glad you’re ok-ish. Keep going.
Jx
November 27th, 2006 at 4:51 pm
Your love and zest for life and all it’s moments shines through your words. Enjoy the start to the holiday season.
*CHEERS* to YOU, Dear Chloe!
November 27th, 2006 at 6:37 pm
Great post. I think we have all felt like that at some point. I’m glad you’re in the world and that it isn’t the big void we all fear.
November 27th, 2006 at 9:19 pm
Glad you are feeling better, Chloe. Hope everything is back on track again.
Have a wonderful week.
Take care, hugs, Meow
November 27th, 2006 at 10:40 pm
I’m trying to be seen. you got me to cyber-lean on. i love you girl. sorry you had a tough time. your friends love you so much!!
thanks for the card, sweet girl. you rock!!
November 29th, 2006 at 8:59 pm
Consuming loneliness. Invisibility. Yes. I know these things well. Many of us do. And that is why you’ll never be rid of us dear Chloe!
December 9th, 2006 at 1:29 pm
yups i knw thanksgiving is an important festival indeed …..not celebrated in india, yet i knw all that one usually associtaes with thanksgiving, coz i nid to do research on all the amrican holidays and write on the same…..so….a belated thanksgivn wish to u and here’s thankn god for blessing my blog world with such a dear frnd like u