This is not where I belong, it’s not my habitat, it’s not where I feel at ease and proud of who I am. Mostly, I feel like a big round zero. I am not modest, I know what I am worth. But this is the general atmosphere. This is not my country, this is not my home.
November 14th, 2006 at 1:40 pm
By “this” are you speaking of Greece? Or London? Or elsewhere?
November 14th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
I know how you feel. When I came home from London I cried for hours…I missed London so much, I felt right at home there…I was 13.
November 14th, 2006 at 2:58 pm
uh oh. have you been reading my blog too much? why cant we be settled??? why dont you move to where you want to be?? i will visit you wherever that is. I like London- will you come dancing with me at the Empire ballroom?
November 14th, 2006 at 3:18 pm
What brings about this unsettling?
November 14th, 2006 at 4:02 pm
Did the recent trip to London make you feel this way? I feel happy and settled in Canada, thank goodness. I can’t imagine what this feeling must be like, but I know that you will make wise choices that will help you to no longer feel this way.
xoxo
Cathy
November 14th, 2006 at 4:24 pm
chloe,
you are strong, talented, and beautiful. you can have the life you were meant to have. one careful step at a time.
November 14th, 2006 at 4:31 pm
Were you born and raised in Greece or have you lived somewhere else?
November 14th, 2006 at 4:40 pm
EC
Greece, Athens, this neighbourhood, this house.
Devil
it’s a city that embraces so many different cultures, maybe that’s why so many people feel at home there.
Gina
of course! till morning! xx
berlinbound
the people, the atmosphere, everyday life, everything here in Athens.
Cathy
maybe yes, maybe it’s the visit. maybe it’s that’s where i feel appreciated more. the (few) things i do there seem to have a purpose.
holychaos
thank you. i need to believe that, thanks
anonymous
born and raised here in Greece.
November 14th, 2006 at 5:07 pm
Maybe as soon as the business picks up, you can go there in a few years?
Just don’t lose hope; I know what it is to hate where you live. I’ve been doing it off and on for the past 10 years.
At least we know where we don’t want to be. ^_-
November 14th, 2006 at 5:14 pm
Let’s see… you write your blog from “Greece, Athens, this neighbourhood, this house”, which, even if noting else, has brought you, me and many other blog-friends together.
I’ll tell you you aren’t a zero. You are loved; by us, by M, by your son, by your sister and Blondie and even some old ex-coworkers.
You are sweet, thoughtful, caring, creative and a wonderful cook. What, in all that, qualifies you as a zero?
Just in case you are unsure of that answer, it’s “Nothing.”
Also, in every picture I’ve seen of you, you look quite slim and svelte and stylish… not round at all.
November 14th, 2006 at 6:24 pm
Transitions are always the toughest part. Hang in there and it’ll be better in no time.
November 14th, 2006 at 7:13 pm
sometimes I wish it was easy to just pick up and move, but with a family it’s just not possible.
November 14th, 2006 at 7:45 pm
Where is your heart? I mean to say where do you find you are at home? Is there a place? I didn’t find mine until I met my husband. Now I am at home in San Antonio, Texas. I know exactly (I think) what you mean though… xoS
November 14th, 2006 at 7:47 pm
Oops… I also meant to ad that the first place I ever felt at home (but there is a geographical problem) was in Bath, England. I even got this eerie feeling like I had been there before… like something was drawing me in… I hope to return someday… xoS
November 14th, 2006 at 9:32 pm
it isn’t your home.
and you will move to your home.
period.
November 14th, 2006 at 9:55 pm
Its always like this…I would like to live somewhere else other than England.
Perhaps its the state of mind of where we find ourselves and the idea of a fresh start is what appeals.
November 15th, 2006 at 4:19 am
People in Greece are very critical about the state and the society. Does anything change?
Greeks here in Germany dream of living in Greece - their homeland.
Me, I don’t know what homeland is. I’m a nomad.
November 15th, 2006 at 4:44 am
I think it’s really important to feel “at home” where you are. I felt like that when I came to England - it was like I felt at ease for the first time. People do that as well - I’m lucky enough to have people in my life who make me feel welcome and at home with them even though I may be miles from the house where I live. I hope you find your home.
November 15th, 2006 at 4:57 am
It’s a terrible cliche but home really is “where the heart is”. I’ve moved around an awful lot since I was a kid. Some places I’ve loved, some places I’ve hated. However, it is easy to fall in lust with places on short visits. It’s like any love affair, it’s not until you see and live the warts and all of everyday life living with the place can you truly know if it is love. Although, as a Londoner, I can safely say it will always be my home, no matter where I am. After all, as a wiser man than I once said…”a man who is tired of London is tired of life itself”.
November 15th, 2006 at 6:07 am
erikku
i know you know. we should have more choice.
Crag
that’s what i said, i know i am not a zero. people here try very hard to make me feel like one, still i know who i am. it just makes me angry, that’s all. thanks for the nice words xx
Coolcat
aren’t they a pain in the neck!
Day
families tie us down, but they should be more flexible. they should bend and not break.
sarafina
hehe.
my heart is in Scotland, that’s where i feel my home is, just like you did in Bath. I’ve lived there and i was extremely happy, even though i was essentially alone for large amounts of time.
sophie
and you’ll come to visit. period.
finn
no, i hate fresh starts. it’s not that. it’s the place and the people.
i don’t feel i’ve ever made a start here, never mind a fresh one.
if you left where you live now would you go to another European country or even further?
ardent
greeks from all over the world want to come and live in Greece but the greece in their minds is a place that does not exist.
Stephanie
i hope so too. i hope it is not too late.
Fly
i know what you mean. But i haven’t fallen in lust with London. It’s a much much better place than Athens, but maybe it’s not my home. It’s just a BIG improvement. My home is Edinburgh. That’s where i want to be again.
November 15th, 2006 at 8:07 am
It’s always a bit difficult when you’ve been somewhere you were more content.. But had you stayed in London you may have felt the same way. Eventually.. We can’t move away from ourselves. If we’re happy in ourselves it doesn’t matter that much where we are.
I mean, I don’t, as long as it’s sunny and I’m on holidays in Greece
November 15th, 2006 at 11:13 am
Could you be more specific about what it is you don’t like about Greece? I am curious because I am married to a man born and raised in Greece who couldn’t wait to leave and never wants to return.
November 15th, 2006 at 12:00 pm
Dear Traveler,
You will soon be home.
November 16th, 2006 at 12:44 am
C: Part of my heart is in Edinburgh so I TOTALLY know what you mean! :o) xoS
November 16th, 2006 at 2:03 am
The point of London, for me, is that there are so many different groups and individuals there, that even someone who never feels at home (that would be me) is bound to feel at home anyway…it’s the natural state to be different. An enticing quality.
November 16th, 2006 at 6:03 am
scholiast
i am happy in myself. i am not happy with most of what exists outside myself. i don’t believe in people as the only means to happiness. i believe in material things a lot, and in the surroundings. There is no one way to be happy, and for me being happy also means going to work and seeing beautiful things on my way there.
anonymous
nothing ever gets done. talent is not appreciated, just connections. beautiful things don’t flourish because people are too tired surviving to take care of them. people are generally ungrateful. you always owe them. there is no sense of community. everyone does their own thing. which is good for individuality, but some community wouldn’t hurt.
walter
oh thank you Walter. that’s what i wanted to hear.
sarafina
we’ll meet there then!
Kimananda
exactly! being different is the norm there.
November 16th, 2006 at 8:17 pm
God, I know how you feel.
8 months later, and still feeling nomadic. Not belonging here, in Vancouver where I was raised, nor there, in London, where I grew up.
Still waiting to find my place, I will one day. I just want to feel my feet on the floor for once,
November 17th, 2006 at 11:41 am
You’ll be the first to know if I am so lucky to return… we can meet up at Sir Walter Scott monument. ;o) xoS