Incidentally, I made pasta today: An irrelevant piece of information to attract readers
You know how I carry my silly magnet with me at all times, so as to never miss a silly person that might be in proximity? I have a similar smelly person magnet, but I did not have it on my person today. And do you know how in Greece, some people on the bus talk to strangers? For the whole duration of the ride? So I was in the bus, with my potent magnet, reading a newspaper. The Man in Grey sat next to me of course and made himself very comfortable. But really, you don’t know how comfortable. Every time the bus made a turn, I feared I may end up in a compromising position with the Man in Grey. To widen my personal space, I opened the newspaper. What a fool I was. He was clearly interested in the stories I had been reading (a political scandal involving a dairy company) because he started reading -with lips moving, like a first grader- behind my ear. So I moved to the horoscope page. Men don’t care about horoscopes, do they? -I am Taurus. What does it say about Taurus? -It’s not about you. It says “to those of you lucky enough not to be traveling by bus or metro…” (That’s what it said, I swear) -And may I ask what your sign is? -Pisces. -And what does it say about Pisces? - I don’t know. I always read Aries. -And may I ask why you read Aries? -Because I always wanted to be Aries. And that did the trick. He moved away. I did not have to touch his thigh anymore. Ruffling the pages of my newspaper, putting my bag between us, becoming one with the window, coughing, achieved nothing. Being crazy enough to think I could choose my sign instead of reading the one I was born under, did. See?
September 22nd, 2006 at 6:09 pm
I may have to try that one…assuming I can find any Danes who would talk to others in public that is!
September 22nd, 2006 at 6:27 pm
Oh you are the best storyteller in the world - I love this one!
That happens in portuguese buses too, some people just add another meaning to the word comfortable, it’s disgusting.
I’m so glad you got rid of him and with such a witty remark!
p.s. I could eat pasta right now
September 22nd, 2006 at 6:41 pm
I remember reading that was Sting’s way of getting rid of strangers too. He’s usually start quoting Shakespeare - which most people wouldn’t know, they’d think he was mad, and back away…
When I lived in England I answered back in Norwegian. That did the trick too
On the other hand, I quite like people talking to me on buses - as long as it’s not here..
September 22nd, 2006 at 6:56 pm
a good ’story of your day’…(I always do that to people - when I ask them about their day, and they say nothing happened - i’ll say..tell it like a story…and entertain me)…but it sounded like you were simply being yourself and telling the truth, right? As opposed to manufacturing a ‘crazy answer’ to get rid of him. Unless I mis-read it altogether…
Have a good weekend.
September 22nd, 2006 at 7:27 pm
HI!
September 22nd, 2006 at 8:20 pm
I laugh like a madwoman when
i read your posts but this one
gets the gold star for SURE!!!
Hey, Pisces is my favorite
sign:)
Well, Pisces and Sag.
Smiles!
September 22nd, 2006 at 10:31 pm
I can’t remmebr the last time I was on a bus. However my mother always said that I could talk to anyone even a stranger on the bus!
September 22nd, 2006 at 10:41 pm
the pasta worked!! yum.
how DO you attract these crazies? maybe he has never heard of personal space. lol
what did it say about scorpios?
September 23rd, 2006 at 12:59 am
I love that plate !
September 23rd, 2006 at 8:06 am
OH - I have one of those magnets too! Do you think they can be removed or turned off somehow?
Hello from Maine, btw. The family’s finally got wireless up here so I’ve brought my laptop. woooohooooo.
September 23rd, 2006 at 9:33 am
Headphones does the trck too!
Yes it’s been a year! or a little longer.
September 23rd, 2006 at 10:13 am
That’s brilliant. Everyone should be able to choose their sign. Sometimes I enjoy talkative strangers and at others times not so much. There should be a universally accepted hand signal, like maybe sticking up your middle finger, that would make people go away without being offended
September 23rd, 2006 at 11:11 am
Swift move, Chloe! They can’t wrangle you!
September 23rd, 2006 at 11:13 am
I hate it when random people talk to you on the bus or the train when quite clearly you are reading or listening to music and have a “I do not want to talk” look about you. I will try your trick next time someone tries to talk to me :).
September 23rd, 2006 at 12:17 pm
I don’t think I have ever told you how much I like your posts that make me laugh!
September 23rd, 2006 at 3:16 pm
weird smelly men are attracted to beautiful and interesting women. It’s the law of nature; opposite attract. Don’t wear deodorant the next time you travel on the bus and a nice smelling handsome gentlman will sit next to you.
September 23rd, 2006 at 4:55 pm
Perhaps there is a hidden way to reverse the polarity on magnets of this sort…
September 23rd, 2006 at 5:36 pm
you are so funny!
September 23rd, 2006 at 8:21 pm
I hereby bequeath my birth date to you: March 20th. This way you get to have it all (especially if you’re born as close to the ‘cusp’ as I am): Picses and Aries!! Let’s see Man in Grey deal with that! Mwahahahah!!
September 23rd, 2006 at 11:34 pm
completely brilliant, i must try this one when one of these over grown smelly men sit next to me on the bus!
You’ve got guts woman!
September 24th, 2006 at 3:01 am
Wow, but it doesn’t seem so crazy to me!
September 24th, 2006 at 3:03 am
You are just the funniest…Great way to get the annoying man to leave. I am usually way friendly with people but don’t ever get in my personal space. You managed yourself perfect.
Loving that plate of pasta!
Hugs,
Connie
September 24th, 2006 at 4:55 am
Beautiful blog.
September 24th, 2006 at 10:44 am
That is a brilliant bus story, Chloe. Thank you so much!
September 24th, 2006 at 10:57 pm
Aha, the old act crazier to scare the crazy off trick…..i’ll add it too my repertoire.
September 25th, 2006 at 5:49 am
Is it fate, is it coincidence? Either way, I’ve written your horrorscope as it happens.
September 25th, 2006 at 8:21 am
It’s lunchtime and your picture has guided me to the penne cupboard. Thanks.
I think you handled smelly man very well all things considered.
September 25th, 2006 at 9:16 am
That sounds kinda creepy. This guy who would read over your shoulder. My parents always taught me never to read over someones shoulders, and my elementary teachers taught us how to read without moving our lips.
September 25th, 2006 at 12:15 pm
Try farting. I would have thought a diet rich in vegetables would produce farts of sufficient magnitude to put off grey men ;-). You should try increasing your lentil and bean input before travelling on busses.
I’d be tempted to tell them to [very rude word]-off, especially if they were the same size or smaller than me. Depending on my mood. Of course, if they were mentallly ill or slow, I’d much more likely put up with it and feel a bit sorry for them. If they’re of a sound mind it’s the [very rude word]-off treatment.
Can you buy pepper spray or CS spray in Greece? If you can you could try farting, then the [very rude word]-off treatment, and if that still doesn’t work spray them in the face ;-).
September 25th, 2006 at 1:27 pm
Great story, loved the humour!
September 25th, 2006 at 3:19 pm
Another thought … (two actually)
I love what you did for Cathy’s blog …
Did you know we are right next to each other on her blogroll? Does that make me some sort of man in grey?
September 27th, 2006 at 5:12 pm
Love the picture of the pasta! Better yet, the pasta look delish.
This story is fabulous. I don’t mind chats with strangers but it seems to always happen when I’m catching up with reading, meditating, or sharing a private conversation with God.
I miss those fabulous bus moments from Euro. Ahhh, the memories…
Have a fabulous evening.
*CHEERS*
November 29th, 2006 at 12:22 am
how come you don’t embrace your pisce-ness
i love being a pisces accept for the emotional crazy moments!! anyhow, i enjoyed your story. -i came by way of sophie-
December 1st, 2006 at 12:25 pm
Hey Chloe: That is a great story. My wife and I had dinner in a restaurant in Paris that was supposed to be kind of primitive. That included sharing a table with strangers - not really that unusual in Europe. We sat down and a Dutch couple joined us.
They explained that they just came from Mass at Notre Dame. They were cozy and affectionate with each other, and the four of us got a long great.
We invited them for a drink after dinner and found a cafe down the street. We started askng questions about each other and found that they were married. Just not to each other. He was a lawyer and she was his legal secretary.
At least they went to Mass first.