Lifesaver tips for working with psychos (hands off my lifebuoy, I need it badly right now)
Psychopaths (in Cambridge Dictionary: persons who have no feeling for other people, do not think about the future and do not feel bad about anything they have done in the past) are people.
Anyone could be a psychopath: the bus driver, the lady at the post office, your colleague. However, your colleague is most likely to be a psychopath. This is not a coincidence, as psychopaths are usually teamed up with sane people so that the corporation can test their endurance and flexibility.
If, like me, you are lucky enough to be going through this FREE test of emotional intelligence, here are a few tips:
-Your psychopath will expect you to read their minds in order to complete tasks. If you fail to read their minds, the psychopath is going to become angry at you and blame you for being irresponsible. Do read their minds by calling them 100 times a day.
-Once your psychopath is angry he/she is not going to answer the phone. Your psychopath may be crazy but he/she is not stupid. He/she can see your number on the telephone screen. Go out and call him/her from a public phone. This is going to catch him/her off guard and you might be able to establish basic communication so as to read their minds (see above).
Kindly remember that psychopaths will become extinct either by involving them in a caring and nurturing environment or by banging them on the head with a skillet.
August 28th, 2006 at 6:55 am
Sorry you must interact with people like this. We have them here too.
I vote for skillet. That will take them out of the workforce for a bit, and will make life more enjoyable for a number of people.
August 28th, 2006 at 7:02 am
Hey, I resemble this remark (the sane one, not the psychopath…I think). I may need to try these tips out. Of course, as my psychopaths are in Sweden, and as all my Danish colleagues and I are equally unable to read minds, I may need to leave the country to get away with your second piece of advice.
August 28th, 2006 at 7:24 am
Good luck!
August 28th, 2006 at 7:38 am
Heh, at my job, no work would get done because everyone in the office would be lying on the floor unconscious from too many whacks to the head.
August 28th, 2006 at 7:59 am
That really reminds be of my ex-boss. I’m so glad I got rid of her, you have no idea. But I’m sorry, the bearing-psychopaths-task was transfered to you.
Be patient and if you have to…snap back at them!
August 28th, 2006 at 8:18 am
ooh this sounds like it would be a good story.
crazy psychopath mofos. everywhere you go.
August 28th, 2006 at 8:47 am
Perhaps you can hug your psychopath with one arm while banging him/her over the head with the skillet with the other…this may satisfy their psychopathic tendencies and perhaps pull them out of their snit.
(Probably not, but it would make me feel better.)
So sorry that you have to deal with someone like this. And on a Monday, no less. Yuck.
August 28th, 2006 at 9:07 am
I am surrounded by these people daily at work as well as the cleints who call me….
Some I can do without but some invoke a sense of challenge in getting them to stop without the use of a skillet….although this would be really fun!
August 28th, 2006 at 9:53 am
Dear Chloe,
Here we have rules that we are not allowed to personally touch another co-worker…throw the skillet.lol
Hope you feel better.
Hugs,
Connie
August 28th, 2006 at 12:46 pm
…er…resort to skillets only if defending your very life - otherwise always try to care and nurture, its just better…
August 28th, 2006 at 12:49 pm
Aren’t we all a bit “psycos” too?…
We all get that feeling that we could care less about certain people, sometimes the future doesn’t matter, then we get back to being “normal”…
August 28th, 2006 at 1:43 pm
stephanie
i vote for skillet too. i know i need to explain, but somehow all this has been repeated so many times it even tires me, let alone you.
Kimananda
maybe we should send all psycho colleagues to Sweden.
maja
with the skillet? you bet
kain
get out my friend! in fact, run!
devil
grrrr
grrrrrrrrr
die boss die
gina
it would be a good story if it ended thus: “and so, the woolf having eaten the psycho colleague, burped”.
Cathy
you shouldn’t have to deal with this on your birthday!
EVERYBODY, it’s Cathy’s birthday!
Ob
ultimately, devoting either time and/or muscle power to people like that is not fun. at the end of the day you get a “what am i doing with my life” feeling .
Connie
really? no touch at all? this is so frustrating when you desperately want to hug your colleague (to death).
wcdixon
i am saving my nurturing skills for other kinds of crazy
ciscokid
yes we are, but what separates us from them is that we are not 24/7
August 28th, 2006 at 1:58 pm
Nurturing takes too much effort. Banging them on the head with a skillet is so much more satisfying.
I used to work with someone like that. The gave me a task, I did the task, but it was ‘wrong’ since it wan’t done the way they envisioned it. Though they never told me how they envisioned it.
An occasional yelling at them, telling them off… that might be the middle ground here. The question is will merely yelling at them make them face up to their behaviour? Probably not. And then They’ll get angry.
(I yelled at mine with mixed results.)
August 28th, 2006 at 3:19 pm
Do you mind if I use this for a story sometime?!
August 28th, 2006 at 6:55 pm
Crag
in my case i am not given tasks. i have to guess them.
Fly
i do not mind at all. i can give you all the details to make it more vivid.
August 28th, 2006 at 7:09 pm
Hi liked reading through your blog its a nice blog
.
Thanks for sharing
Wish you well
August 28th, 2006 at 7:40 pm
ΚαÏαβι βλεπω!Θα σαλπαÏουμε αυτες τις μεÏες;
August 28th, 2006 at 8:05 pm
zingtrial
welcome here and thanks
Ï€Ïεζα
να σαλτάÏουμε ναι, να σαλπάÏουμε όχι!
August 28th, 2006 at 8:25 pm
i hired a private detective
to spit on mine…
August 28th, 2006 at 8:53 pm
“Ασ’τον Ï„Ïελό στην Ï„ÏÎλα του”
or
“Let the mad, be mad” or something like that
August 28th, 2006 at 10:59 pm
Love the idea of banging ‘em on the head with a skillet. I’m off to buy my skillet right this very minute!
August 29th, 2006 at 8:09 am
you’ve got me thinking about our language now Chloe which is good. I want to find the difference between psychopathic and psychotic.
I’ll check wikipedia.
August 29th, 2006 at 9:08 am
You could always introduce them to your mother in law…
August 29th, 2006 at 11:07 am
All not in favor of the skillet say “Naye”. Naye.
All in favor to use the skillet say “Aye”. “AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYE”
The “Aye’s” have it.
-Walter
August 29th, 2006 at 11:49 am
Ha ha ha - I will print this off and attach it to my screen for easy reference!
August 29th, 2006 at 12:07 pm
Oh, so I can try to use a skillet? Hmmmm….
August 29th, 2006 at 12:27 pm
How’s the book coming long, my friend?
August 29th, 2006 at 3:14 pm
…:-)
August 29th, 2006 at 9:02 pm
I hope having to use the skillet didn’t ruin your breakfast.
August 29th, 2006 at 9:13 pm
what happens if your the insane one, but you don’t know it???
Because I think that perhaps we maybe sane, but there is always going to be someone out there who thinks we are the one who is insane…. or something like that.
August 29th, 2006 at 9:16 pm
I’m just testing to see if I know how many words per minute that I can type. Perhaps I might type ten or twenty , but I’m wishing that it might be more like 50
August 29th, 2006 at 9:18 pm
was that insane???
August 30th, 2006 at 3:09 pm
Lure ‘em with the nurturing, then brain ‘em with the skillet. Non-stick.
September 1st, 2006 at 3:26 pm
greg-mills: non-stick, so you can hit ‘em again and again? Mwahahahahaha! I like it!