scary but not as scary as what followed
We went for a beer to our favourite (not anymore) beer garden in the area. It was nice, and we also had a vegetarian schnitzel. As we were finishing our beers and I was starting to feel pleasantly dizzy, M shouted "let’s get out of here, NOW". Because he had seen a cockroach of stupendous dimensions, approaching us. Now, this beer garden is not a dirty place. On the contrary. And the food is good. But it is a garden and the cockroach has to take a holiday from the sewer where she spends all year. A big, brown cockroach. Like a pet, that big. Who was going to reach our table first? The waiter with the bill, or the monster? They arrived together. The waiter, oblivious to the monster, was carrying the bill and two shot glasses with a sweet, red drink that is on the house, and is always offered at the end of the meal. When he offered me the drink I started screaming. Because by then, the cockroach was just under my left heel. "Cockroach, cockroach" I shouted and started pointing as if he was going to kill it for me (he was my only hope, as M is more scared of them than I am). I lifted both my feet on my chair, but so quickly and clumsily, I got a cramp and couldn’t move for ten minutes. I must have scared the cockroach too, because it disappeared under a flower pot. The waiter, totally bewildered by now, vanished, and I tried to make my way out, hanging from M’s arm and limping. My bag was red because I had poured all the red drink on it when I was jumping on the chairs. People were staring. Ah, one more place I can never go back to again.
May 26th, 2006 at 5:59 am
Well I just don’t know if you really want to go back anyway. I would be itching all night thinking his kids (the cockrach) and his kids and cousins, might all be hanging around the place.
No no not for me. Hope you didn’t have to pay for dinner.
Hugs,
Connie
May 26th, 2006 at 7:58 am
judging from his/her size, that creature must have been the authority figure in the family. So yes, i expect minors to be hanging around there.
M paid for dinner but then again, his money is my money too. So, yes, i paid for dinner
May 26th, 2006 at 8:07 am
another thing we have in common- both terribly afraid of roaches. YUCK. i would have FLIPPED OUT (kinda like you did!!HAHA)
sorry you missed out on the after dinner red free drink. i might have had that before i ran.
May 26th, 2006 at 8:25 am
I’m sorry, Chloe … I don’t like cockroaches either, but reading your descriptions just made me smile (but cringe, also !!). I hope your cramp disappeared, and you got the red drink out of your bag. Shame you had to experience this at one of your favourite places. Take care, friend … Meow
May 26th, 2006 at 9:51 am
Poor you! I do hope you go back there anyway…it’s unlikely that the rest of the family of roaches will visit, seeing what kind of reaction the first one got.
May 26th, 2006 at 10:02 am
I wish I could have witnessed that. It must have been a site for sure.
May 26th, 2006 at 10:05 am
There it goes: a perfectly nice place ruined by an insect. Life is ironic. Those bugs are hideous, I can’t even imagine the noise they make when you crush them under your feet….bleargh..
May 26th, 2006 at 10:07 am
“I BURY THOSE COCKROACHES!!!!!”
Scarface.
May 26th, 2006 at 10:17 am
It’s a good thing you moved like you did even if you pulled a muscle. When cockroaches grow to immense size they’re no different than any other prey animal that’s massive. They have no predators to worry about, go where they want, and develop a taste for human flesh. It was after your ankle Chloe, and so what if your purse is now red, that can be replaced, but a new ankle, highly unlikely.
May 26th, 2006 at 10:29 am
Forgot to mention that Gargantuan Cockroaches don’t like bright light, silver bullets and crucifixes. Maybe if you whip out your camera and take a picture of it it’ll run away, but if it doesn’t at least the authorities will know what it was that attacked you.
May 26th, 2006 at 10:49 am
I just noticed… at last you are on RSS feed!!! It’s the only way I can keep track of updates on blogs. I like that it arrives on my RSS reader as emails so I can read them on the train etc.
Have a good weekend, pretty one… and thanks for the lovely card!! xx
May 26th, 2006 at 11:52 am
geez lu weez. where I grew up any of the garden type restaurants would have a variety of lizards on the wall within easy reach.
then when the lizard was swallowing the last bit of roach somebody could have pulled a snake out of one of the planters.
that’s when the crowd gathers and the wagers start flying.
the biggest fight happened when a previous unseen owl swooped down and snatched the snake just as the lizard seemed to be wriggling free from what had appeared to be a certain death grip.
after ten minutes of plate and chair throwing the owner grabbed all the wager money for damages.
5 minutes after that we had all settled down for dessert when another roach attempted to scurry out of a woman’s shoe for cover under her purse.
instictively I reached toward the wall while digging in my pocket for cash with my other hand.
ah, those were the days.
May 26th, 2006 at 12:32 pm
When I was associated with a Zoological gardens we had an exhibit of hissing cockroaches which are about 35 mill long and hiss when you pick them up and gently squeeze them. the kieepers had their own names for each of them. It takes all sorts I guess? :o))
May 26th, 2006 at 2:10 pm
I would have put a glass over it and studied it, but it’s good that nobody killed it, because then you would have had a great mass of cockroach guts on your table.
May 26th, 2006 at 5:21 pm
I hate roaches. I remember some that even the cats couldn’t carry off…
May 26th, 2006 at 5:34 pm
Chloe
Keep going with your great blog
Thanks
Ben
May 26th, 2006 at 6:20 pm
*does la cucaracha dance*
the only thing to be scared of for cockroaches is the fact that nothing will exterminate their species. you should really just stomp on those things when you see them chloe
i know it sounds like you have a real phobia for these things, but this is the best way to (literally) conquer your fear of roaches! 
May 26th, 2006 at 6:55 pm
Ewwww..That is just Nasty! Sorry that had to happen to you.
Btw..Still probs loading..Maybe it’s an AOL issue so I’m going through IE instead.
Have a great weekend Chloe.
May 26th, 2006 at 7:52 pm
What a funny Chloe moment.
Not to make light of the horror; I would have been just the same.
It was dark, perhaps you can go back; maybe the waiter couldn’t see you that well.
Shame about your purse (and the red drink)…
Happy weekend, friend. xo
May 26th, 2006 at 8:24 pm
I thought you liked animals. I heard that cockroaches can withstand high levels of radiation. It’s kind of eery to think of them scampering all over the earth after we’ve been extinct because we nuclear bombed ourselves. I suppose that’s a scary thought in itself.
May 26th, 2006 at 9:39 pm
I love most living things, but…
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
I have to go take a shower now!
May 26th, 2006 at 9:44 pm
what about the book?
May 26th, 2006 at 11:53 pm
Oh my God, that’s terrible! I wouldn’t go back there either…
May 27th, 2006 at 10:52 pm
i used to see them that big in NY too, walking around just like the tourists…you should see the rats! the size of baby elephants…lol. nasty.
May 28th, 2006 at 7:30 pm
As my sweetheart so often says to me (lovingly)… “Geez, we can’t take you anywhere…” ;o)
May 29th, 2006 at 8:49 pm
Ah bless you - this made me *giggle* laugh and laugh. I’m so sorry *giggling* but this reminded me of the sort of thing I would do… x
July 25th, 2006 at 2:15 am
Enjoyed a lot!
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