There have been some rumours that the newspaper may never come out. I called the director this morning and confronted him. He denied everything and said all delay is due to new desks and shelves and computers arriving and that the new offices are not ready yet. He told me not to worry. Oh yes, that’s when I start to really worry. When people tell me not to. That’s why I had been feeling low lately (apart from the fact that I need to constantly sleep, but I managed to stay awake all morning for the first time in weeks. I am still having that doctor’s appointment.) I don’t know what is going to happen with the newspaper. It’s sad but I have come to expect the worst and that’s not the way creative work should be. It should be about feeling secure to explore new fields and be bold. Having no control over your future is definitely not the way to be bold. But you have been so kind and sweet, as always. You sent personal emails and wishes and positive comments, and you are so encouraging and supportive. Thank you. Here’s a song. Thank God, it’s Ani di Franco singing, not me. "But in the garden of simple Where all of us are nameless You were never anything but beautiful to me And, you know, they never really owned you You just carried them around And then one day you put ’em down And found your hands were free So now it’s early in the morning At the longitude of memphis And the sun is setting sweetly on hong kong And the big plan is just to keep spinning Cause the big bang is only just beginning And sometimes it’s all that we can do just to hang on And what I meant to say is xxoo which means I’m thinking of you Which means I’ve been thinking of you All along" From “Garden of Simple” by Ani di Franco
The Garden of Simple
Mon, Feb 20, 2006
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February 20th, 2006 at 7:24 am
When I’m feeling low, I think I need to constantly sleep. It is good that you are keeping the doctor’s appointment though.
So sad that you have worked so hard for this (and you have, just by dealing with crazy meetings and women with inflatable lips) and other people manage to mess it up. Hope things get better for everyone soon. VERY, VERY soon
February 20th, 2006 at 7:36 am
Stephanie
i think that’s true for me too. Because we want to shut the world out and sleep is a good way to do it.
I think it’s going to get better. It could get worse of course, but i think the law of possibilities is on our side this time.
February 20th, 2006 at 9:10 am
Hang in there, Chloe! Interesting that I’ve just recently written to my my director also about future work, in this case to confront her about my complete lack of consistent work…she didn’t say not to worry, she said (in essence) there are no guarantees. So, I’m worried too. I guess this meand that I’ll be thinking of interesting job opportunities for the both of us then.
February 20th, 2006 at 9:16 am
kimananda
at least your director was honest.
i think there really are no guarantees not only for freelancers, but increasingly for people on regular payrolls too.
If you think of something let me know. How about twin sites: one that promotes greek traditional products to Denmark and one that promotes Danish products to Greece
February 20th, 2006 at 9:28 am
Chloe,
I will keep thinking positive thoughts…Maybe this time your gut instincts will be wrong..Crossing fingers all will be fine including the Dr/s visit.
February 20th, 2006 at 9:33 am
Sadly, this is becoming true across all fields, everyone I know about is complaining about job insecurity. Do not worry, I’m certain that it’ll all work out in the end. All you can do is do your best and hope. You can cross the bridge when you come to it, you know?
Goodluck!
February 20th, 2006 at 10:31 am
self pity is an easy road to follow. Just ask me I did it for years. Sometimes we need a reminder that we are the ones who choose how we feel and what we make out of our life. Which road will you follow today? It’s up to you. If you feel you are going down that old familur one then seek your higher power to help you.
(((hugs)))
February 20th, 2006 at 10:40 am
I am so glad to hear that you are keeping the Doctor’s appointment.
Maybe your gut feeling is worng about the work (?) Although I never argue with my gut, so probably not.
Today is a bad day to trade lives. My dear children are driving me crazy…bad news if you’re feeling at all tired…
February 20th, 2006 at 12:17 pm
Carnival?! Did you go dressed up as something or somebody?
Come on world right way up for everybody please…
February 20th, 2006 at 1:08 pm
Sometimes your body needs that sleep. I so hope everything goes well at your doctor appointment.
It is so hard when you put your energy into something like this magazine and then you feel it might not come together. How frustrating. Maybe they will pull their act together and surprise you(hope,hope).
Don’t give up on yourself cause you are a very dynamic and talented person. You would be a wonderful addition to any company. Good things are out there for you.
Take care of yourself and I am sending big hugs.
Connie
February 20th, 2006 at 2:57 pm
Wishing you the best, and cheering for you is the least your blog friends can do. Here’s hoping the fatigue and the job aren’t related, and that they both get resolved soon enough.
February 20th, 2006 at 3:20 pm
how’s the cookbook coming along? do you have lots of food photos ready? it’ll be good to have a holiday section w/carnival shots. have you seen the sabine books yet?
February 20th, 2006 at 4:37 pm
You’re right about that: it’s hard being creative when you don’t know where you’re standing exactly. I wish we weren’t so consummed with our works. It’s so exausting. I really hope the newspaper comes out, anyway.
I’m sorry I haven’t been able to reply your last package yet: there’s been a lack of time and inspiration. I hate this because I’m a really fast replier (usually)
February 20th, 2006 at 5:06 pm
where ever it goes it will set you on the course best for you. your talent and wit will carry you far and some day be on a book signing tour and look back at this tile as just another step toward your success.
February 20th, 2006 at 5:54 pm
Hope all goes well with the doctor’s appointment, Chloe. And that your gut instinct is wrong (it’s great to be wrong, in this instance!!). Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts from this side of the world. Take care, Meow xx
February 20th, 2006 at 5:55 pm
Heidi
thank you Heidi! you always know what to say. Thank you so. xxx
metlin
thanks! remind me to send you some melomakarona xxxx
daybyday
you are right, it’s my choice. i just need to rest for a while and not make choices. that’s all!
xoxoxoxoxxoxo
Cathy
i could still change lives today! I’d get to squeeze the babe.
I hope I’m wrong. Not just wrong, i hope i’m paranoid.
Finn
Carnival hasn’t reached its peak yet, it’s mostly just kids dressing up now. But in a week’s time it is going to be huge. Last year (or was it the year before that?) i dressed up as an Angel of Darkness because i had found a wonderful pair of black wings.
Connie
You are so encouraging and it’s very helpful now. Thanks. Many hugs. It’s a pity they are just digital.
Walter
thank you Walter. You always cheer me up. I’ll be great. xxxx
Morgan
Hehe Morgan, you should be my Agent. I would be Martha Stewart if i had you.
It was a thought that turned into a secret plan that i haven’t really admitted to my self. I’m writing the chapter on breakfast now, but at this point, i’m just doing it for the sake of it.
The Carnival shots is a great idea that i hadn’t thought of! It’s a great time for capturing colour and motion in photographs.
Haven’t got the books yet. There’s a bulk amazon order pending. There are about 6 or 7 i have to buy. I have also found one on Food Writing.
Thank you coach
Devil Mood
oh don’t worry about that! you’ve been so busy. And it’s not a race.
As long as you stay in the top 5 young lady
Pirate
you are back! we feel safe again.
did you find treasures and did you drink coconut milk? xxxxx
February 20th, 2006 at 5:59 pm
things that ain’t in our control are impossible to handle. because we don’t have the control over them. some things solve themselves without us doing anything about them. sometimes patience is all that stands between us and a situation unfolding.
take a deep breath and step back a few steps. give it room to happen. occupy your mind with your beautiful son and your intelligent man. and while you do that, the situation at the newspaper will turn its course. one way or the other.
inhale, exhale. calm. a shot of ouzo might help. doctor’s orders
there’s this old saying about how after a good night’s sleep, the world looks totally different. that one’s true. have a good night, girly
thinking of you *hugs*
February 20th, 2006 at 6:52 pm
If nothing else, perhaps this person is doing an excellent job of teaching you how not to start a newspaper - make note of what they do and what consequences they refuse to see, and make this behavior something not to emulate. ^.^
*hugs* I gots loads of faith in you.
February 20th, 2006 at 8:09 pm
I know it will work out for you Chloe. I am thinking about ya. many hugs and good thoughts.
February 20th, 2006 at 10:04 pm
Very nice ! Cool Blogger! Parabéns!
February 20th, 2006 at 10:10 pm
Ah job insecurity ! - that pretty much explains my life. Welcome
Even though I am considered one of the strongest people in my line I have no false illusion that my job is safe. No job is.
But a job is not everything in life
cheers & take care
February 21st, 2006 at 1:31 am
Hi Chloe - fret not -
Morningdew, you and I are
travelling around the world
to take pictures of bookshops for
our new book.
Start packing - bring the family.
Smiles!
February 21st, 2006 at 2:30 am
Hi Chloe, how’s everything now? Yes, do do get sleep, if you can. I know it is harder to do that when stressed… perhaps a postcard from Andorra will help?
I’m playing catch up with everything I’ve missed (again) but I hope the next post will tell us that things are now better! xx
February 21st, 2006 at 6:16 am
Meow
It would be lovely to be wrong, and I really really hope i am paranoid 
xx
thank you Kitty
daria
that’s the way i think too. and there’s not much i can do about the paper, although i could start searching for something else soon.
make those shots two!
xxxxxxx
badger
i know sweets. thank you.
let’s go get them. ready?
xoxoxxo
gina
thanks Gina. I hope so. It’s a great feeling to be thought of.
Alessandro
welcome, hello
True blue
when computer experts start having trouble keeping jobs, I’ll know it’s time to open a vegetarian tavern in a village. xx
madelyn
are we making a bookshop book? that’s great. I’ll get to work. There are a handful here i really like. xx
Missy
hehe, go have some fun. When you get back we’ll start exchanging things and postcards. Just bring one back from Andorra. xxoo
February 22nd, 2006 at 3:32 pm
don’t worry!….oh! sorry shouldn’t say that coz that’s gonna make you worry more;-)…..yes, its true creativity needs its space and enough time to explore…..i guess things will get better for you :-)….don’t feel low dear!I’ve always found you to be a very brave person battling evry odd situation that comes your way…so be the way you are “typical Chloe”