or read a newspaper instead
How would you feel if you found out that people you wouldn’t like to be reading your blog (people you know in the other real world) are in fact secretly reading it when you haven’t given them the url. Wouldn’t it be like someone reading your diary? And then, maybe laughing at your typos, or silly thoughts, or fears, and maybe sharing all these with other people too. In the same manner someone flips through gossip magazines? Wouldn’t you feel humiliated? And wouldn’t it be undignified on their part to be peeping Toms and try to enter a part of your life you wanted to keep away from them? Would you ask them not to do this anymore, would you delete your blog and move somewhere else, would you ignore them and pretend they never read it anyway?
January 21st, 2006 at 12:34 pm
you can avoid this by not posting your personal info on your profile. as for what to do about it, i think you can either be careful what you say about certain people, or you can start over with a completely anonymous blog. i wonder sometimes if i am being read by anyone who knows me personally but i try not to say something that i wouldn’t say to someone IRL. it’s a tough thing to take, but it’s up to you how you want to react to it. i hope if this happens and you decide to make a new blog that you would tell us where you moved to
January 21st, 2006 at 12:43 pm
Yes, do inform us of any URL changes please?
I’m telling you people, anonymity is the way to go.
January 21st, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Chloe..I think about this daily..That would be my worst nightmare and why I don’t fully open up as much as I would like to on my blog. Sometimes I go back and delete entire entrys..Then I didn’t realise even if I do Google has it ” forever” in it’s history.
Is there a way to avoid searches on Google to come upon a person’s blog? Anyone know.
January 21st, 2006 at 1:23 pm
google only caches so many pages, so it’s not in there “forever” as long as your pages are current. now, archive.org on the other hand keeps their pages “forever” so you might want to check them for your pages before worrying about google.
January 21st, 2006 at 2:05 pm
When I started my blog, I wanted to share my thoughts with others… even strangers.
There is a way to keep your blog as a private one, but that’s no fun/. Especially if you are not a public figure, what do you have to lose? So, some guy in California laughs at your way of self expression… no big deal.
I like to have parts of me travel via people’s hearts and memories. It’s a way to spread parts of my legacy from this semi-secluded valley in Oregon.
January 21st, 2006 at 2:20 pm
i often swing between love and hate when it comes to my blog. the thought of certain people i know reading it really scares me sometimes. at other times i think i secretly wish they would find it,so they can learn a little more about me.
either way ive come close to deleting the whole thing many times.
January 21st, 2006 at 2:32 pm
To reveal all or remain somewhat mysterious…to Blog or not to Blog?
January 21st, 2006 at 2:41 pm
It doesn’t worry me - let them see me as I am! I don’t e-mail my blog or website URLs to anyone I know, and they seem curiously uninterested anyway when I mention that I have such things, yet I’d send them if asked…
January 21st, 2006 at 3:42 pm
Actually, a co-worker informed me that he saw my blog.
January 21st, 2006 at 3:47 pm
Chloe;
My sister reads mine. She thinks I don’t know. I am waiting for her to tell me one day, and if she doesn’t I have this knowledge in my pocket to pull out at the right moment. I may delete my blog and start over so she can’t read it anymore, but for now I am waiting to see how long this goes on. If I do delete it and begin again I would let all my friends know first, of course.
January 21st, 2006 at 4:00 pm
Funny you say so…
A friend of mine, which I know in real life, she is blogging. She didn’t give her URL though to her boy-friend. Now that they broke up, he somehow found out the address and read it. She was angry about it, she felt as if he would have read a real diary closed by a locket.
I couldn’t understand her really at the begging. I thought “what is the difference?
Everybody can read it, why is it a problem when he reads it.?”
But now I understand…
Everybody else didn’t know her, he did.
Anyhow, I gave my blog URL to some people I know. I really don’t care if they talk about it, with me, or with others. If they use my blog to learn things to use in the next small talk party, what the hell.
If their lifes are that boring that they have to talk about me, let them do it.
I don’t care.
Should you anyhow deside to blog on another URL, please inform me per email.
Lot’s of kisses
January 21st, 2006 at 4:25 pm
I’ve shared mine with a few people I am close to. I’ve thought about this some. I think I’d probably just ignore them, because I don’t think I could expect them to stop reading it and it would probably just encourage them. I guess I’d think, what’s in my blog that would be worth that sort of notice from them? If I ever do pull it down, I’ll just go back to journalling off-line again. Have you found out that someone’s found yours? Or is it just something you’re thinking about?
January 21st, 2006 at 4:53 pm
I dont mind about that…when you blog you have to realize that its out there. The only thing is I dont post much about my work and how things are there. Just because none of would be good and I would get fired for sure if my bosses read it.
January 21st, 2006 at 5:00 pm
I would freak out - that’s why I try to keep my blog as secret as possible. Personally I couldn’t write anymore knowing they were reading eveything. I’d probably think that people were making fun of my posts too but I don’t think that would be the case neither for me nor for you. I guess those people will be as curious about what you post as we are and they’ll probably enjoy your posts. So maybe you should just ignore it
I don’t know!
January 21st, 2006 at 5:47 pm
I’d just pretend it never happened. Even if I’m posting stuff I don’t want everybody to read — it’s still how I feel / what I think — and maybe if the “wrong” person reads it it’s just as well… I guess that’s why my hubby won’t have me posting pics of our kids or him..
But should you decide to move - leave a forwarding address…
January 21st, 2006 at 6:17 pm
hmm..well i dint google u..i found u from a friends site…so am i not supposd to come n read??…
and because im a silent reader it doesnt mean that i make fun of what u write…
and well u decide on ur privacy..if u dont want people to read about ur private lives then dont write about it..or write it in a way where nobody can make head or tail outta it…
n frankly..atleast people like me read others blogs because I enjoy the way in which it is written..maybe its simplicity,maybe language, maybe pictures….
so please dont consider all secret readers to be in one category..now look at what i have done..aint no secret anymore…
January 21st, 2006 at 6:18 pm
First of all, thank you all
It’s a “real” person, or rather, maybe a group of people this person is attached to that read my blog. They are friends. But I never felt comfortable with sharing this address with them. Now, i was silly a couple of times and mentioned its existence, so they tried to find it, although i clearly stated i didn’t want them to. But that’s a contradiction in terms. My mistake.
I think i am just going to go on. I won’t bother. ultimately these people are either going to become trusted friends -so it’s okay- or total strangers -so it’s okay.
But should i ever decide to delete this blog, i would let each one of you know. You won’t get rid of me that easily!
Also i am not that disciplined to try and post things that won’t be an isult to anybody. I just have to write whatever pops in my head. So if this goes on, it’ll be in this confessional mode.
moondog
thanks for the technical info!
erikku
certainly, there could be no blog without you.
Heidi
i know there’s a code you can add to your template’s html that prohibits robots from finding your blog.
Crallspace
i really don’t mind if someone in California laughs at me but i do mind if that someone is in Athens and is a friend or an acquaintance!
maria
please don’t! please don’t delete it! i love your blog.
fb
i can’t be mysterious. on the other hand, you are good at it.
id
i like your relaxed manner. Let them be shocked to death!
ruben
i hope it wasn’t the one with the gas problem eh?
Cathy
you are back!
if you do delete your blog tell me in advance please. i have this obsession with written language, i need to save everything. i’m a linguistic hoarder.
Vista
i like this line of thinking. let them talk. i agree. at least i’ll be amusing to someone. xxxxxxxx
Stephanie
yes. there’s someone. and maybe not just one, but that someone, and someone’s friend too.
which is exactly the reason why i didn’t share the address with them.
Please don’t go back to journalling offline. and if you do, please send the entries in my email, will you.
mel
true. work is another thing.although i have said some pretty awful things about bosses too.
devil mood
i love what you say, that they just enjoy our posts.
Hey, they might learn some english too.
scholiast
i posted this, then went away for 4-5 hours, then came back to read your comments. I agree with you, i won’t change a thing. I just want to let them know i know they come here and that they are not welcome.
January 21st, 2006 at 7:20 pm
Hey, Chloe, I have the opposite problem…I’m always trying to get people I know to read my blog, but usually without success. Maybe I’m just a secret (or not-so-secret) voyeur? On the other hand, I find out periodically that someone far, far away reads my blog to keep up with what I’m doing. That is a nice thing.
January 21st, 2006 at 7:24 pm
I’m not sure how I feel about all that. It sure is something to think about.
January 21st, 2006 at 8:11 pm
I’ve given my blog url to many friends and family but they don’t comment much, so I don’t know whether they read it.
I don’t mind anyone I know reading it, but I prefer to keep it from people at work.. however, I’m sure there are people here who read it without my knowledge. I just try not to say anything hurtful in it… and if I do, I change the post to a draft later.
January 21st, 2006 at 9:20 pm
As you know, certain co-workers of mine have been reading my blog even though I did not give them the url, permission, or in most cases, knowledge I was even writing one. All because I exchanged blogs with a female co-worker I liked who later turned against me.
Now these co-workers, who don’t think very highly of me to begin with (since I’m shy and never approach them first — of all things,) have a direct connection to my thoughts and feelings, which I’m sure they discuss and have a laugh over.
It bothers me that these people are stalking me behind my back (sometime the same person will view my blog up to six times across the spread of a day,) and while I know that closing up shop and moving elsewhere is an option, it also lets them win.
So I deal with it in various ways, but in most cases, admittedly, it usually doesn’t produce positive results…
Since I know they’re reading, and they don’t know that I know, I’ve decided to use it to my advantage. I can use it to express myself to them depending on my mood. And since they are often doing things that hurt me, this allows me to be able to openly complain about them to their face (so to speak.) Who doesn’t want to tell off those who people who wrong them every so often?
January 21st, 2006 at 9:27 pm
did you ever consider using a service like statcounter? they will log each person who comes to your site by ip address and you can see not only how many people read your blog, but where their location is in the world.
http://www.statcounter.com/
January 21st, 2006 at 9:54 pm
You know what I mean..
January 21st, 2006 at 9:54 pm
You can’t get away from it or keep it from anyone. It is out there for anyone to see. (As it happened to me)
Short of not writing the blogg, you are exposed…
Just don’t write or say something that might come back and bite you in that cute ass..
January 21st, 2006 at 11:49 pm
I have some now. They lurk around and never tell me. I’ve heard through the grape-vine that they judge me on certain aspects of my blog, but I don’t care. The question I want to know is: If they don’t like my blog, why the hell do they keep reading it so obsessively?!?!? People are odd. So I just ignore it. I’m more concerned about the reactions of those who love me. If they judge me, they’re generally not worth my while…or they need to be ignored for awhile until they get their acts together.
January 22nd, 2006 at 1:17 am
I really wouldn’t like it if I thought someone was purposely looking at my blog to criticize. However, how sad for them…don’t you have more important things to do? Oh and if you don’t have anything nice to say on a comment then maybe you shouldn’t say anything at all.
Saying that Chloe…please stay right where you are cause your blog is so fun. Ignore them sweetie.
Hugs, Connie
January 22nd, 2006 at 5:38 am
everyone is free to express what he/she feels…blogging is one way of doing it. ofcourse blogs can be accessed by anyone from anywhere..but it gives you an opportunity to improve the way you write and also the content that you present on the blog. i look at these positive aspects of blogging.
well one needs to be careful before posting personal information… its better not to give out more personal details on the blog as interenet is not safe…
happy blogging…
January 22nd, 2006 at 10:06 am
I think anyone who knows me than came across my blog would know it was mine. There are many people I do know in real life that read it, and they in turn tell others that I know to read it. Do to this I often leave out names of certain people when I am talking about them, and I most certainly leave out very personal information.
January 22nd, 2006 at 10:21 am
being a guy along with the fact I average 2.7543 hits a day I really don’t have to worry too much about that. Of course I’m sure you ladies have your share of goofballs sending you interesting emails.
January 22nd, 2006 at 11:06 am
A few months ago K - who doesn’t write a single word - gave my blogs’ urls to all our friends, relatives and acquaintances to my dismay. He was proud of me being able to put down thoughts and impressions unlike him.
At the beginning I felt really pissed off as if I am censored to whatever I write, foreigh eyes are lurking to pry in my life. This lasted about a week. Then I though “what do I care” what people think of me, if they read my ramblings or not, I’ll continue disregarding them, I’ll keep being me no matter what.
January 22nd, 2006 at 11:07 am
ursjina
i made it clear i was talking about people i know face to face,people i meet, not friends or acquaintances i have made online! I was talking about people who never bother to call me, yet, frantically search for my blog on google.
moondog
i have this already, that’s how i found out about them.
cisco
i know what you mean.
i don’t think it’s good manners for people to go searching for friends’ or colleagues’ blogs. Very indignified. The funny thing is they act hurt afterwards because you didn’t trust them, when their behavior shows you exactly you were right not to.
vesper
i say, let’s publish naked photos and see what they do next.
No, joking really.
Connie
i’m not going anywhere. i might consider a password though i can distribute to all my friends.
amit
i know what you mean. but the people i am talking about are people i already know. They know personal information, this is not my problem. My problem is they feel the need to read my thoughts, but never call me. so, it’s pure gossip.
danasaur
i agree, for me there is no point in having a blog unless i can talk about personal matters. It’s not a news blog, so what would i write?
On the other hand, it’s one thing to find it out by chance, and another to search every machine available in order to find me.
zona
no, i never had that. strangers have treated me with respect. it’s people i actually know that bother me.
kimananda
i’ll always come and pester you when you are away for too long
daybyday
i”ll be waiting for you to collect your thoughts
maja
people from work reading my blog, that would mean the end of any work for me
kain
i know this situation. i think these people are ridiculous for doing this, and not minding their own sad business. do you want me to come to your blog every day and eulogize you so that they are going to feel ashamed? I can do it, and i’d have loved to see the expression on their faces.
January 22nd, 2006 at 12:06 pm
marina
that’s what i thought too. Because i’ve known about this for quite some time. I just wanted to let them know they are not welcome here.
January 22nd, 2006 at 12:10 pm
There’s three people I know in real life who reads my blog and they are not all bloggers. I hope that no other people I know will read my stuff because I write a lot of rubbish in it…
hmm… this post got me into thinking and worrying!
January 22nd, 2006 at 1:04 pm
Thanks for the offer, but I don’t think they’d even see it. :S According to StatCounter, they only seem to load up the main page or the monthly archives, very rarely the specific post pages where the comments are displayed.
I thought about the password-protection thing as well, but then anonymous surfers wouldn’t be able to view the blog either. You’d only end up with the readers you have now and never be able to get any new ones.
January 22nd, 2006 at 1:41 pm
Yeah, that’s why i removed my photo in my profile, lots of silly colleagues out there
…or is it the ‘big-brother’ syndrome?
January 22nd, 2006 at 2:01 pm
This is one of the reasons I don’t give anyone my blog URL and all my blog pals are people I dont know personally !
Hey and if you do go away, pleeeease give us your new URL
cheers
January 22nd, 2006 at 2:45 pm
I’m slightly worried that my ex will read my stuff and judge me more than she does already
January 22nd, 2006 at 4:12 pm
you know what I do. I guess its how much it bothers you. If you can ignore them and not care what they think then fine. But if it bothers you and you cant write how why, when and what you want then change URL. It’ll be a shame though and is horrible to think people can make you do that
January 22nd, 2006 at 5:15 pm
i have limited myself because of the same problem. if i wanted to share info with them, i would do so face to face. why can’t the “real lifers” just leave me the fuck alone?
January 23rd, 2006 at 1:14 am
oh! yes, i would feel and do feel bothered when i get to know that there are people who read my blog surreptitiously and inform all my personal views or thoughts to a person i most want to avoid hiim/her knowing…yes, at one point i did intend to stop blogging coz some people was trying to make things a lil impossible by being an informee…but then can’t escape it all becoz of some silly act of a person…you ought to continue despite ll odd…people seem to derive pleasure from others pain and when its something like laying one’s heart bare *sick*people find it even more easy…but trust me its not worth running away from it all…facing it is the best way to resolve it…
January 23rd, 2006 at 12:39 pm
I’ve had to seriously think about some things I wanted to blog, as I found out a boy I once dated reads my blog (there goes the *how do i break up with a boy i’ve dated for a few weeks but won’t believe me when i say can we break up please*), as well as my “soon to be ex brother in law” (there goes the debate about what do I do with all those wedding pics?)
Luckily no one else seems to know who I am, so I can maintain a certain element of anonymity but at the same time I’m sure someone close to me, and who knows me may be offended by something I have written or may write in future on the blog. I agree with Morgan, if there was something pressing, I’d prefer to discuss it face to face if possible.
I think that’s just part and parcel, when you decide to blog you’re also inviting people you may not want in, along with the amazing people you pick up along the way.
January 23rd, 2006 at 3:41 pm
Wow … all the comments!
Personally … whatever I say, write, whatever… here in the ether, on my blog or on your comments, is public … That seems to be the quid pro quo … You give and you get …
Anonymity?
January 23rd, 2006 at 11:08 pm
I’ve given my blog address to a couple of people, but only people who I would never say anything not-nice about anyway … true friends. I did once post about an acquaintance, then got worried who might read it, and deleted it a few weeks later. However, it is a public place, the blog-world, so we never really know who is reading it, do we. Take care, Chloe, and please don’t leave us. Meow
January 24th, 2006 at 1:15 am
well, the way i’ve always figured it my life is lived in public most of the time, anyway. and i had to denude myself to the reality that people i know have read my blog and probably found out things they ought not. my dad reads mine and that’s bad enough, you know? it may be personal but in the back of my mind i have to remind myself that it’s all out there for anyone to see. i do understand how wierd it feels to know that, though. someone made a joke about something i had only said on my blog a while back. it was really disconcerting.
January 25th, 2006 at 2:14 pm
Yeah, this is why it’s important to know your audience. I suppose I would have to ignore them as best as I could, but the anticipation of readers always changes what you write, whether or not you want it to.
January 26th, 2006 at 3:57 pm
how’d you know I love Woody Allen?
January 26th, 2006 at 5:31 pm
I try to get around this by by using a nic that the other real world doesn’t know me by, and by making up nicknames for the dramtis personae in my life(which is a fun little excercise on its own).
This has actually happenned to me. Juan gave my blog address to a mutual friend,a co-worker of his and an ex-roomie of mine (all one person, and not the ex-Roomie). At first I was taken aback that he gave it out so freely, but after a little thought, I stopped caring.
I don’t say anything on my blog that I won’t say to someone’s face, and if they were to read an opinion/observation of them on the blog before I say it to them to their face, it’s probably because I haven’t seen them face-to-face for a while. My opinions about anything are usually out there for anyone to pick-up.
Third, I actually started my blog to stay in touch with my friends. Oddly enough, I’ve told very feww of my friends about my blog. I keep meaning to correct that but haven’t got around to it yet.
Instead, I post my life for complete strangers around the world, and the family members and few friends that do know about my blog to read. My mother reads it, and my older sister from time to time.
My ex-roomie, Foos, hasn’t mentioned my blog to me, though Juan tells me he and Foos have talked about certain posts before now.
January 30th, 2006 at 1:37 am
this is fascinating to me as I
am working this through right
now - whether to delete my new
blog and start over with a
different name - I was silly
I realize using my name but
I love the blogs that feel
most real - it’s creepy having
people read it in judgement rather
than love and appreciation as it
takes so much courage to put it
out there. I love your blog.
It’s fabulous.
February 4th, 2006 at 4:33 pm
madelyn
thank you so much. i don’t believe in total anonimity unless the content of the blog demands it.
September 17th, 2006 at 1:02 pm
anonymous people can make comments but can’t give advice, sorry.